Today we’re one hundred days into 2014 and I am one hundred days into my One Word focus for the year. So…how’s this honest thing going? Actually, it’s taken a bit of an unexpected turn.
When I chose my One Word (or rather, when my One Word chose me), I was convinced the honest I was feeling drawn to was primarily about my being honest with God… honest about my feelings of disappointment, hopelessness, and discouragement. In a sudden wave of emotion, I realized that although I wasn’t willing to admit it for fear it would negate faith (which pretty much revealed I had none), my heart was broken and filled with doubt. Although filled with pain and dis-ease, I remained silent about symptoms even in the presence of the Physician, the One who specializes in healing the broken hearted. Since daring to be honest, within the first fifty days I found Him more than just a physician….I found Him a friend.
Another fifty days have passed now, and there’s been another unanticipated twist. This newfound friendship is wonderful, but you know what they say about friends, don’t you? The sign of a good one is that they’re willing to tell you the truth, being honest with you even when it’s hard. Well, needless to say, God is certainly a good one…the very definition of BFF. So, somehow in the midst of me being honest with God, I’m finding God being honest with me.
Now, I know it’s not as though God could be anything other than honest (after all, He doesn’t just tell the truth…He is the truth), but in my case it’s more like the scene in the movie A Few Good Men where actor Tom Cruise, playing a Navy lawyer, grills his witness demanding, “I want the truth“, to which his witness, played by Jack Nicholson, shouts in response, “You can’t handle the truth!” I’m thinking…that might be me.
Jesus declared to His disciples, “I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now“. Although this was probably the case with me too, seemingly the progression of this honesty focus has changed something. Honesty on my part has opened an unexpected door. Little did I know this was a two-way street. I wasn’t expecting oncoming traffic…the glare of light shining back at me. Nevertheless, I don’t mind one bit. Don’t hit the dimmer switch, Lord…leave it on high beam.
As glaring and revealing as this honesty God is speaking to me is, I’m happy about it. Even if it’s exposure, just hearing His voice is music to my ears. I know His voice because it always gets past the exterior, surface appearance of things and goes straight to the heart of the matter. It hurts and heals in the very same instant, providing the balm even before the bruise. Always, amazingly… compassion, but never ever compromise. Simply the honest truth.
It’s funny, I thought being honest with Him about my feelings would displease Him, but it seems to be having the opposite effect. And ever since I began to believe He could handle the truth, He seems to believe I can too.
Kings take pleasure in honest lips. Proverbs 16:3a
Lisa, so good to “meet” you over on my blog. I was so blessed to come here just now. What a beautiful picture of a tender, real relationship with the Lord! It brings a smile to my face to think of the depths that the ultimate Friend is taking you, and his ultimate goodness in all of it. You inspire me to “go there” with God – the places I know I need to and that He is calling me but I’m uncomfortable or afraid. Thanks for the encouragement!
Oh, Kathy…thank you for coming here. I am so impressed with your writing, it’s a joy to think mine has blessed you! Truly, He is so kind I wonder why I sometimes doubt. I’m reminded of I Timothy…If we are faithless, He remains faithful. Thank God!
Hi there, just popping over and perusing. I’ve been learning this lesson this year too. That my honesty before God does not make him more distant, more angry. I think He’s kind of proud of me for it. And yes, His honesty returned is…. startling. But, in the end, welcome. Love your words. 🙂
So great to see you here, Sarah. I love your comment here. Isn’t it just too crazy that what made us think He’d be angry now gives us the sense that He’s smiling…and maybe even saying, “It’s about time!”? It’s such a joy to know someone truly relates to this. I’m so pleased to meet you! Thanks ever so much for visiting.