I’m not sure if it’s the down side of a zeal for organization, but I tend to have a meltdown when I can’t find things. I know they’re not lost, they’re here somewhere…but where? I cannot give up the search, I seek until I find.
They’re some of my most favorite things, yet lately…I just can’t find them. They’ve been missing for a while now. Honestly, I’m wearying myself with the search. Frantic, determined, panicked, longing, I keep hunting, seeking, grasping, but still…I come up empty. How long will they elude me…
how long will words elude me?
I’m navigating a new season of life and many things are different. I don’t fully know how to live in this unfamiliar pace and space, and I’m finding more and more that…
there are no words
I’m reminded of a stagnant screen with no new content… nagging, condemning, harassing, making me wonder, in yet another way, about my state…about myself. But how can I tell a story when…
there are no words
I watch others live…energized, focused, full of vision and direction, and I puzzle at my lack thereof. I search, and read, and ask, and worry…that time is slipping by and I don’t want to miss it…whatever “it” is….
but even in this…there are no words
I try to stay calm, try to pray in spite of restlessness, scattered thoughts, wondering, wandering…the sense of nothingness near, accomplishment absent, direction distant…
but yet again…there are no words
In an idea expressed on a page of a recent read, I feel something welling up from deep within…Providence, permission, peace…
and…there are no words
only a soft surge, a gentle wave of weeping, creeping up from a tired soul…tired of looking for words to say, words to pray.
My heart breathes an exhale, long overdue, as I consider…maybe words aren’t necessary. Maybe it’s okay when…
there are no words
…for the Spirit helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings
too deep for words…
So now I’ve begun a different search. It’s a search for something I wasn’t aware was lost, something I didn’t recognize the incredible value or benefit of, but am beginning to like the sound of….
the sound…of silence.
You see, I’m starting to realize, am being set free by the notion that maybe the best prayers, the deepest, most heart-felt, honest prayers are prayed when
there are no words…
in the unutterable longings and deep gratitude offered in the solemn sincerity of silence. Maybe heaven hears cries uttered in silence.
I’m also beginning to believe this sound of silence might relieve the frustration felt when, no matter how hard I strain to hear from heaven…
there are no words
That maybe, now, I’ll hear something in the silence, for
The heavens declare the glory of God; and the expanse sheweth the work of his hands. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge. There is no speech and
there are no words,
yet their voice is heard.
It may be that words, a wealth of words, can be found in the sound of silence.
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Posting as part of Five Minute Friday, Faith Barista and No Words are Needed
Hi! I’m visiting from FMF. I had a rush of emotion reading your words. I think that’s right, that the greatest prayers are the ones void of words. The ones where you just lay down and surrender it all, without trying to dress it up with words, to the Master, to the Healer. He knows everything that is in our hearts anyway right. Thank you for the gentle reminder that words aren’t always necessary and sometimes silence truly is golden.
Thanks for stopping by, Mollie. I appreciate you taking the time. I was just at your site reading your FMF entry. Headed back now. 🙂 Blessings…
So beautiful Lisa. We store up in the quiet what we will need for the storms. Quiet is painful but revealing. Sometimes His words need to come so ours can. So glad you stopped over and I could come visit too. He always gathers His girls together.
Truly, His words lead to ours. Well said. Thanks for stopping by. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
This is so lovely – reading it (in the rush while dinner is prepared and all is nutty) was a breath of fresh air. Thank you! Great blog!
Oh Dana….thanks for visiting and for your kind comment (and you take time to do it in the midst of nutty?…amazing!). I’ve been smiling as I read your terrific writing. You have a fan in me. Now get back to work. 🙂
Yes! This is perfect, Lisa. You’ve spoken the thoughts that I didn’t know were bouncing around in my brain. 😉 Thanks so much for the encouragement and the reminders.
Glad to have you visit, Kendra. I’m glad to know some of my words have blessed you like your words bless me.
Lisa, this was so good to read – thank you! You expressed it well, and I understand what you are talking about. I am finding that even more than before – in this season of life that I am in, that there is a need for silence. Just being, and listening … to God, to our hearts, to others. Lots to think about with what you have written – thank you.
Thank you so much, Cherry, for stopping by…and for taking time to comment. I love your comment too. “Just being” is something that resonates with me right now. Less “doing” and more “being” is setting me free. And the listening to our hearts you mention….wow, we truly are on the same page. It’s so wonderful to meet you!
Hey Lisa- Beautiful! Love this post!! Thank you so much for sharing!!
Thanks so much, Jenn…and thanks for dropping by! I was glad to find your link up. I was tracking with it for sure.
Oh my friend… so much Amen here! You wrote so beautifully what God has been calling me to this Summer as well! So glad I stopped by!
Thanks for visiting, Karrilee. Your words were an amen to me too!
Lisa, I see why my recent words resonated with yours. Yes to all this — for this is the state of my own heart, too. I am trying to press into the silence and the great mystery, knowing that the Holy Spirit speaks when I cannot (and sometimes should not). I think sometimes my desire for words can be more about control than wisdom, and I want to lay that right on down. Thank you for your encouragement today. Blessings to you, sister.
Oh Ashley, it helps so much to know we’re not alone, doesn’t it? I’ve been thinking it was just me, but I’ve been hearing a consent to, even a call to silence at nearly every turn lately. I’m so blessed that you stopped by. You’ve given me yet more to ponder in mentioning “control” here. I’ll chew on that a while. 🙂